Ancient Knowledge Forum

Us

2010-10-10T07:19:00.000-07:00

We are part of a vast, living being that includes everything that is. Each tiny cell in our body contains a neutron that is orbited by electrons and protons, a mirror of our tiny solar system and all the vast galaxies and universes that exist in the infinite field of all that is.

Our existence is a manifestation of energy, a tiny bubbling up of form that contains energy, so minute and instantaneous in the vastness of energetic existence.

We contain within us the ability to control matter, our own matter, in our short blip of existence in this form. We contain within us the knowledge, at the cellular level, as part of the infinite vast field of All That Is, to transform our manifested form into anything, any form, health or dis-ease. We contain within us, everything that is.

How do we do this? Everything begins with a thought, that elusive form of energy that scientifically can't be proven to exist, but certainly it does - thought creates the paintings by the masters, the absolute best and most horrific parts of our existence. Cells "think" as well, and perfectly implement the purpose of their existence - liver cells know exactly what to do, brain cells, etc. When cellular thought gets discombobulated, then it becomes aberrant and forms dis-ease.

So, what is the purpose of our existence? To know ourselves as everything that is, God if you will. And in order for us to function perfectly in knowing our purpose, we must fill our thoughts, which transfer into our existence, with thoughts of such; with thoughts of only those things that take us to our highest and greatest good. This is what we must draw from the infinite field. Thoughts of ourselves as God. We must perform, and use what is available to us, and that is everything that exists, in such a way to bring us to that end. If we can truly do this, we are a perfectly "humming" cell, in perfect existence with everything.

When we draw in those thoughts and ideas that cause dis-ease, then we become dis-eased. If we choose to focus on that which keeps us from knowing the true nature of our existence, then we withdraw from that perfection and begin to wither and die. A temporary fix of the body won't work if the cells of the body aren't filled with the energy that takes them to their perfect existence.

The millions and millions of thoughts we have throughout our lifetime create us and our reality. What we focus on, we become. What we cause becomes part of us. This can be instantaneous or take many lifetimes as we carry similar thought patterns with us from lifetime to lifetime. We can realize this on some level, and this will move us along to knowing the concept of the true nature of our existence. But if we ignore this precious information and continue to focus on that which takes us from being the true nature of our existence, it will take us so much longer to reach that perfect state. We will continue to clog our own beautiful energetic existence with low vibrations that keep us from our most perfect state of being.

Fill your life with only those things that take you to your highest and greatest good. Know yourself as the same as God, use this knowledge to help uplift your fellow man. Watch as you create your perfect life, a life in which your being is the only thing that matters.

Heads down!

2009-12-03T06:07:00.000-08:00

Every day, I have the opportunity to walk across a small college campus to my workplace. It is a lovely campus, layed out around a long mall, lined with big hardwood trees and nicely landscaped, the flowers changed seasonally and the wide expanses of grass kept neatly mowed.

During class change, the area is alive with students, heading back to their dorms or over to get something to eat, or to wherever college students go between and after class gets out.

I remember my college days on campus, greeting friends, playing frizbee, hanging out, laughing and talking, meeting new people, experiencing so many exciting and new events. It seems to be fairly similar, and not much has changed over the years, except for one phenomenom that I have noticed: these days, most kids walk across campus with their heads down, both hands on their cell phone or ipod, completely focused on whatever hand held device they happen to be using at that moment, completely missing whatever is going on around them in the world outside that small, amazing technological piece of plastic. Their ears are plugged up with earphones and those wondrous cries of the cardinals go completely unnoticed.

Of course, not all students are using electronic devises as they walk across campus, but recently I decided to just pay attention, see how many actually are walking around, heads down, rapidly pushing the tiny buttons in this new form of communication, and I was amazed at how many there were: some walking in groups but without any interaction with the people they were actually walking with, many solo, not looking up at all, shoulders hunched over, complete focus on the tiny screen of the new language of texting.

I walk by many students that I know, without any smile or greeting or realization that I walked by them. Sometimes, when they are in the line for food, I mistakenly think they are talking to me and respond, only to realize that they are talking with someone in some other location, and feel rather silly at the realization of this.

One young womann I work with came to work one day with her Ipod securely lashed to her belt, earphones securely plugged into her ears. I greeted her, but she did not hear me. I had to tap her shoulder and I politely asked her to remove her Ipod while she was at work. She smiled at me, but it was clear that she had no idea what I had just said. When she finally did remove the earphones, she seemed miffed that I asked her to remove her Ipod while at work. "I can hear you just fine", she said, and refused to turn off the device, replacing the one earphone that she had grudgingly removed to have a conversation with me. She turned her back and went on listening to the music that even I could hear faintly from a few feet away.

What type of world is being created here? A virtual world where nothing is real, where the natural environment can be tuned out forever? How can we hear the voice of God if our ears are plugged with earphones and the music is so loud?

Will the songs of the birds cease to exist if there is no one to listen to them?

Rain Creek

2009-05-30T13:15:00.001-07:00

Sitting by Rain Creek this morning, I was struck by many things. It was so quiet, except for the sounds of the myriad of birds and the occasional splash in the water of an aquatic creature. I thought, this is how it sounded before there were any motors, the sound of the day was this...... it seemed strange to think of a world where the only sounds were natural, no man made motors or TV or cell phone or anything, except the sounds of the natural environment.

Then I noticed that as far as the eye could see, there were no power cables or poles, only the marshland and the trees and the grasses and clouds and the sky - even though this is the natural environment, it seemed so strange to not hear or see those things that have become such a part of our everyday life.

I watched a pair of small martins feed their young and take turns flying over the marsh, collecting bugs to give to their unseen babies, nestled safely in the martin box Gib has put there for them; beautiful small birds, their song so soft and subtle but complex in the range of notes, almost clicks, that they sing to each other and their young. I watched the red winged blackbirds perched on the rushes, offering their loud and distinctive cry, scattering the seed of the velvety brown plants as they take off and light, heading back and forth to the unseen feeders that I know are by the house and that I have been watching them frequent.

I watched for the ripples of the unseen aquatic creatures as they spashed at the surface of the marsh, most times the result of the water disturbance being absorbed quickly by the water lillies and therefore, going unseen by me.

I watched a hawk soar overhead but fly beyond my site line, no doubt to a field where the prey could be more easily seen and captured.

I saw butterfies fly their lilting flight among the tall grasses and and down into the fern covered bottomland and flies, misquitoes, beetles and water bugs making their way in their protected habitat.

I thought about how beautiful this all looks but with the knowledge that Rain Creek is polluted, as are probably each and every body of water on our planet.

I sat there for quite some time before the first plane went over and I was brought back to the world of the internal combustion engine, the industrial world that is the downfall of all things natural, and possibly, no probably, the downfall of everything.

But for now, I shall enjoy the beauty that is Rain Creek, and continue to try to come to terms with something that seems so totally beyond my control or the control of anyone who would take action against that which is killing us. Because beyond changing the thinking of the industrialized civilization's power brokers, there IS nothing we can do.

I hope my grandchildren are getting to see what is left of our natural world; I hope their parents see the urgency in allowing them to reallize the sacred beauty and connection of everything living, for the future will certainly be one that is devoid of anything we would define as natural, and I want them to know how it was and how it could have been if we had only listened to that which we destroyed.

The Space Tour

2009-05-30T06:12:00.000-07:00

The tour ship slowed so the passengers could get a good look at what the guide was pointing out.

"On the left, out the window, you can see barely see Earth, which is now surrounded by a layer of orbital debris. Although many of you may not realize this, Earth was once a beautiful planet, in fact, they say, this is where we came from. Hard to believe that the garbage planet was once our home.

"Once a vibrant, living planet, where humans and other creatures, such as birds, land animals, and water creatures lived, it has become the waste dump for many space communities. If you can find an old hologram of what Earth used to look like, you might find it hard to believe that this once beautiful planet was taken down in a short period of time by a civilization created by the humans that once lived there.

"This particular civilization actually believed at one time that the planet was theirs to use up and in a very short sighted period of time, our fore bearers completely destroyed their own habitat and took all the other living creatures down with them. After completely depleting their food, water, and air resources, a small colony of humans was able to escape and founded the ancient colony they called "Hope". As we know from our history - were you paying attention? - these humans suffered many hardships and were ostracized for the behavior that they had exhibited on their own planet.

"Made to design systems for survival that were sustainable, the humans were taxed beyond the realm of their own knowledge but a few survived and were allowed to start their own community under the watchful eye of the Keepers of Life. Gradually changing into creatures who were much more like us today, they learned how to live in harmony with every other living creature in their new homeland and their colony flourished to become one of the most beautiful, harmonious communities in the planetary system.

"You can visit their community, which still exists today, on the tour called "Believe".

"And now, out the right viewing area..............."

The Hot Dog Palace

2009-05-11T20:31:00.000-07:00

remember that guy from the Hot Dog Palace?
he came in there that day
and said, he could eat 100 hot dogs in 5 minutes?
said he would do it for nothing
just to give the Palace the free publicity.

that one poet started screaming at him
told him to shove the 100 hot dogs
right up his ass.
that was when Dwayne, the manager at the time
remember him?
grabbed that poet and told him
he was sick of his shit
and threw him out through
the open air window.

then Dwayne told the hot dog eater,
"look what you made me do"
and the hot dog eater said,
"man, I didn't make you an asshole"

I kind of forget what happened after that,
but all I know is,
in the fracas, someone stole the tip jar
and I went home without any money
and Dwayne had to close the place for a couple of days.

and the hot dog eater
ate 100 hot dogs over at the Weeney Wonkle,
but it took him 8 minutes.

Tranquillo

2009-05-07T15:22:00.000-07:00

More and more I realize that there are no outside influences that should affect my ability to move through life with ease and calmness, taking each new event, each moment as something that is happening for the first time ever, and seeing the wondrous miracle in that.

Would it be possible to remember this if I were severely injured, or being horribly tortured, or cold on the street somewhere with no place to sleep? Would these events even occur in my life if I came to the state of being as I described above, or would I be in a state of existence where injury, torture or homelessness did not even occur or exist? Some sort of parallel universe that we could slip into, with the same cast of characters, only operating and living in an existence that we cannot even begin to understand or if we do understand, put words to.

What is there when the body is gone? and the house is gone and the money is gone and the television is gone? What if we were left entirely with ourselves without the existence of any material thing? Including our body.

My friend James says, then we would cease to exist. If there is no outside influence to tell us who and what we are, then we simply do not exist. No biologist to trace our evolution, no archeologist to trace our civilations, no sociologist to trace our societies, no prohpets to trace our meaning of existence.

But we do have all those things, all those things that define who and what we are. What if we blocked out all that information and just looked at what was left - what would that be? And how would you know?

STOPPING BY

2009-04-01T20:29:00.000-07:00

Stopping by, unannounced, is something I missed when I was away from the midwest. Here, in the midwest, it is perfectly fine to just stop by and if it is at dinner time then you might as well just stay.

It is not uncommon for your good friends, the ones you want to share meals with and with whom you have the conversations that give your life meaning, to just stop by. Whatever you are doing, you just stop or continue doing what you were doing, while you visit with your friends.

This happened at my house just this evening. We ended up eating lemon pasta, made from the expired lemons given to us by the local brew pub, and drinking a fine bottle of Cabernet Savinion. No particular reason for the visit other than "in the neighborhood". It was a fine end to a wonderful spring day with gusty winds, clear blue skies, mid-50's temps and daffodills blooming like heck all around the neighborhood.

Chase Scene

2009-03-21T07:41:00.000-07:00

Well, it is spring and the squirrels are having at it. We have this unique community of black squirrels that someone introduced into our neighborhood - they only live on the east side of the main street, in about a 5 block area in my neighborhood. The gray squirrels and the black squirrels do not get along at all. They have these incredible chasing events in which they run around and around the tree trunks, up and down the trees. jumping from one high branch to another, finally giving up when one or the other manages to fool his pursuer by stopping on a dime and remaining perfectly still.

A couple of nights ago it was fairly mild and I was out on the deck enjoying the night air. The sky was an incredible indigo color, about an hour after sunset, and all of a sudden all hell broke lose. I couldn't see them, but some squirrels got into an incredible chase, making strange noises like screaming monkeys and running about in the treetops and up and down the trees in what must have been some amazing acrobatics. "In the night?", my housemate asked. Yes, in the night. Someone of them must have tried to raid a nest, or steal some food, or snuggle up where he shouldn't have. As quickly as it started, it stopped, and I was left wondering how it all turned out.

Next day, there was some gray fur in the yard, and so, now, there is a gray squirrel around somewhere missing a quite significant patch of fur somewhere on his little body. Must be incredible, being able to run around the trees like that, at breakneck speed.

New Folds in the Brain

2009-03-21T07:31:00.000-07:00

Attachment - that which keeps us from realizing our true nature as immortal souls, sons and daughters of God. I am attached to rich foods and refined sugars and flours, and I have an incredible attachment to a past relationship. Over and over I resolve to give these things up, but when I pass through the bake shop and smell the sugar cookies fresh out of the oven, or I learn that a past love is in another relationship, I eat the cookie and I feel jealousy over the new relationship. It takes 8 years to completely develop a new habit, good or bad - years of struggling against these things that I know are not good for me and hinder my progress in my quest to find God. Years of erasing the folds in my brain that are deeply creased with those bad habits, years in making new folds of good habits.

Well, at least this gives me something to do, each moment of every day.

Snow Walker

2009-02-22T09:30:00.000-08:00

After a couple of extremely rapid mini-blizzards yesterday, we are left here, again, with snow on the ground. But again, and this seems unusual to me for this area, this time of year, the sun is shining brightly and the sky is blue.

Venturing out for a walk around the neighborhood for fresh air and to think about God, I was surprised at how sublime everything seemed to be. The birds were incredible! Incredible! and it was very quiet as not many people were out and about on this windy, sunny, cold day.

There was the perfect amount of snow on the sidewalks for excellent, sole gripping walking. In some places, I got to be the first one who had walked on the snow! In a couple of places, it was just me and a bunny rabbit, my two steps to her one big hop.

At times I felt like I was in a dream, walking through some otherworldly place, where the senses were different, and the atmosphere translucent. It felt like I was on the verge of waking up, but wanted to stay content in a enchanting dream where nothing is really happening, it just feels like the whole thing makes sense and everything is connected.

Did I wake up then to the sound of a car, or did I fall asleep and the car was in my dream?

In all scenarios, the one, beautiful constant shines brightly, permeating the truth of existence throughout all that is.

Joy pervades in the wisdom of the immortality of my soul. Everything else falls away as the desire to know God infuses everything.

Walking on snow and thinking of God.

Standing by the Window

2009-02-11T15:20:00.001-08:00

Today I was working on my computer in my room on the second floor of the big house where I live, on a project for a friend. We had heavy rain and wind today here in Northern Indiana, and warm temps in the 50's.

Late in the afternoon, the rain stopped and the sun came out for a bit. It was like a lovely spring day, all the snow has melted and the river is running high. I took a walk down to the river and back and when I got home, I began work on the project.

The windows in my room are tall, about 5 feet high, and I get a good view of the neighborhood and all the way over to the college campus. While I was working, I heard a sound like a jet overhead and paused to listen. No, it's a train I thought. But then I realized it was the wind. Bad sign here in tornado country. And, it started pouring rain, sheets of rain. So, I got up and stood by the window to see what I could see.

The trees were bending tremendously and there was a dark line in the clouds. I stood there fascinated by the sound and the trees and the rain and this cloud and then it occured to me, that I was on the second floor, next to a window and a tornado was possibly coming through here! For some reason, I stood there immobilized, knowing that I should run for cover in the basement, 2 floors down, but could not tear myself away from the window. I ran from room to room to try to see if I could see a tornado and then while I was trying to get a glimpse of what could have been my demise, the wind stopped, just like that, and everything became still. Another bad sign.

Better get downstairs now, I thought, and ran down the stairs. One of my roommates said, did you hear that wind? We stood there listening, still not heading down to the basement, but nothing happened. The wind had just stopped and was not picking up again. The rain continued, a nice, even steady rain and I went back upstairs to my room.

I am still puzzled about why I didn't immediately take cover, as I had been taught to do since kindergarten, when such conditions exist. Why I stood there by the window, trying to see if there was a tornado, is beyond me. Some strange fascination with the weather and its power, like standing by the ocean during a big swell, out on a rock, or walking through a blizzard, or walking around through the cracking trees after a big ice storm.

Maybe it is the adrenaline rush or perhaps just a simple reminder of my place in the universe.

I STAND CORRECTED

2009-01-23T10:04:00.000-08:00

Just when I was thinking that no one really reads my blogs, there it was! An actual comment! And, a good one for clarification on the tenderloin sandwich.

Now, I guess my tenderloin tasting spree might have to cross state lines, perhaps taking me all the way to Missouri! The Show Me State!

Show me the tenderloin, baby!

Indiana Tenderloins

2009-01-17T16:35:00.000-08:00

Indiana is the home of the breaded tenderloin sandwich. Pork tenderloin, that is. And there are a number of restaurants and cafes that serve this curiously "Indiana Only" sandwich.

It has continued to surprise me, as I have traveled around the contiguous United States, that Indiana really seems to be the only state where you can get these sandwiches. Maybe there are one or two places just across state lines, but I've never found them, or heard of anyone else finding them.

As it turns out, my dear friend's family by marriage claim to be the inventors of this sandwich. It's a pork tenderloin, pounded out thin - but not too thin for a good one - and coated with breading and deep fried to a golden crispy brown. Served on a bun with "the works" of course, or whatever you want. It is usually a big sandwich, the tenderloin hanging way over the edge of the bun, but size doesn't always mean better, or best, in this situation at least.

Other criteria that my other friend and I have determined are necessary for a good pork tenderloin sandwich are tenderness and flavor of the breading. Tastless breading and cardboard thin tenderloins are guarantees of a one star rating from me and my friend.

We have decided to tour the state in search of breaded pork tenderloin sandwiches and are planning to write a tenderloin guidebook to hopefully help attract tourists to our great state. Dan Quayle has outserved his usefullness in that regard.

Other factors we consider are service, atmosphere, and the ability or not to get a Bloody Mary with our sandwich. We are trying to not let that last criteria overshadow the actual quality of the tenderloin, but have to admit, that we have been disappointed when all we could get for a beverage was coffee or a softdrink. We were especially elated just this past week when we were able to get not only a delicious sandwich but a spicey and strong Bloody Mary at the tavern in a town of about 150 people. "How do you like 'em?" the bartenderess asked us. "Strong and spicey", we said, and that is just what we got. She stood there while we tasted our drinks, just to make sure she got them right.

I'm not sure just at this present moment how this fits in to my goal of "purification" for the new year, but I'm sure it fits in there somewhere.

So far, we have visited 4 taverns or cafes that serve tenderloin sandwiches, including the store that claims to be the original maker of the breaded tenderloin sandwich. So, I would say, there are only about 150 or so left to try. Right now I am not prepared to make a public statement, beyond what I said about the little tavern with the good Bloody Marys, except that we feel that we have had 2 good and 2 okay pork tenderloins. And we have had 1 great and 1 okay Bloody Mary.

It could be that the last good Bloody Mary was so good because it helped us recover from a night of tequila drinking at the new art studio of one of our friends.

Nothing like a good breaded pork tenderloin sandwich in that situation, either.

Mexican Snow Boots

2009-01-10T20:12:00.000-08:00

When I left Mexico for the mid-west, I stopped in the port city for one last look around the "Secundas", the second hand shops. There is a 5 or 6 block section of the town that is only these second hand shops. You can find some real treasures there if you are patient and look carefully.

And there they were. The snow boots I had in my vision of the type of snowboots I wanted to weather the winter in the mid west. Snowland, the label on the inside said, with a little caricature of a person skiing. Brown with fake fur tongue, above the ankle with the patterned piping that would put you in mind of the Alps, well, it did me, anyway.

Being this was Mexico, and a part of Mexico where they don't get any snow, I wondered how the boots ended up there. The manufacturer figured out just how to make the soles so that they don't slip at all, well, unless you are walking in conditions like the last ice storm when even my friend's railroad ice boots were ineffective. They are lined with the fake fur and made from some waterproof material on the outside that keeps the heat in and are so comfortable, fit me like a glove.

I love my Mexican snow boots.

remain calm

2009-01-09T17:48:00.000-08:00

do you think that if you fell out of an airplane
at 10,000 feet
without a parachute
you'd be able to remain calm?

how about if you were captured
and your captives
comitted some horrible atrocity
against your body?

or if you were walking down the sidewalk
and the person in front of you
suddenly burst
into spontaneous combustion?

or how about if you were sitting
beside a stream
and the water
just kept flowing right on by?

Knowledge Gained

2009-01-09T09:45:00.000-08:00

Recently I applied for a position at the little local college, with the encouragement of the department chair. Even though I felt it might be a long shot for me to get an offer, it was something that I felt passionate about and believed I could have learned the apsects of the position that were not in my area of expertise. I had many of the qualifications that the position description listed as necessary.

On several occations, I visited the department chair's office, wanting to introduce myself and get a name with a face, but he was always out or in class. I did not get the offer, not even an interview.

Listed on my resume was my current employer, the college, as I work in food service there. The other day, while serving the Rotary Club their lunch, I saw that this department chair was in attendance and introduced myself to him. "Oh, I didn't know you worked here", he said.

This caused me to wonder if he had even read my resume or application. I learned later that they already had someone in mind for the position, and the listing was just a matter of formality, you know, to satisy those pesky human resources people.

I thought about all the time and energy I had put into this application process and was left feeling, well, sort of bummed out.

But then I remembered that I had learned so much from an on-line course I had taken - to gain some of that knowledge that I didn't have that was pertinant to the position - and I realized what a blessing the whole process had been. I brightened up and gave thanks for the experience and went outside to feed the squirrels.

the answer

2009-01-02T19:57:00.000-08:00

it wasn't exactly as if i were waiting for it,
it just showed up at an opportune moment.
a moment of weakness, or perhaps vulnerability.
a moment when my soul must have been crying out,
unheard even to me, hidden behind the sound proof barrier.

there it was, golden and shining, powerful yet meek, known yet unknown,
everything and nothing, all at the same time.
i suddenly found myself enveloped, surrounded,
the sound proof barrier instantly gone,
the sounds of angels resounding across the universe.

Another Year

2008-12-30T16:12:00.000-08:00

espresso, foam topped with a swirl
the ocean, birds, surf talk, birds of paradise
fresh vegetables in the garden, people from Australia
tequila, kayaks, fresh fish with garlic
stolen clothes, stolen herbs, loss of friends, diinner with friends
sisters and mother on an adventure
srping flowers unbelievable
loves gained, loves lost, big hearts
no home sweet home, oh home sweet home
whales, dolphins, eagles, hawks
angels
sorrow, joy
hope, faith.
wherever we are right now
can we hold our true self up and know our own happiness
in the midst of all the chaos
can we hold our true self up and know our own happiness
in the midst of all the beauty
can we hold our true self up and know our own happiness
in the midst of all the universe
can we hold our true self up and know our own happiness?

Images

2008-12-30T16:04:00.000-08:00

the images are there -
you can change them whenever you want to.
just hit the rotate button,
and you can sit the whole world right on its side.

Walking on Water

2008-12-22T15:06:00.000-08:00

Frozen water, that is. I ventured out today after having to stay in yesterday due to inclement weather. One day of not going outside, and I already had cabin fever. Could have gone out yesterday but it was 5 below and the wind was howling at 40 - 50 mph. Crazy, isn't it? Wind chills of 35 below. Now that's cold. And, not safe to go outside.

But today it was 9 degrees when I left the house, my destination, the public library 5 blocks away. Normally about a 10 - 15 minute walk. But today, after the big ice and slush storm and then the immediate drop in temperature to below zero, everything, and I mean everything, was solid ice. Thick, uneven ice such that you get when deep slush freezes sudden and solid. Even the tree lawns and the yards, though looking deceptively safe and snow covered, were solid ice. I could crash through for traction with the heel of my steeled shank boot, but it was jarring and one time, felt like my knee was going out from the force.

The only "safe" place to walk was the middle of the road, and it was sketchy. The trucks came out last night and spread some material as they call it, but it was no match for the frigid temps and the extremely thick ice that has formed. Some stretches of sidewalk look invitingly safe, but in actuality are coated with clear, thick, super smooth ice, the kind of ice the Zamboni driver can only dream of, and would be great for ice skating. Watch out!

Walking down the middle of the street was the only way, but when a car came along, I had to get over to the side, the side that was bumpy, super slick solid ice with a coating of small ice chunks that had fallen out of the trees during the wind yesterday. I would gingerly ease my way over, never taking my eyes off my path for to do so could mean that nasty fall that really, really hurts either your knee, your elbow, your wrist or your hip; sometimes your head if you fall and get that back lash that sends your head to the ground. Be very, very careful.

The walk took 45 minutes of tense, mindful walking but the warmth and welcome of the library was worth it. Picked out a couple of books, a lovely one by Rachel Carson, and sat in the comfortable chair reading and relaxing, getting warm and listening to a child remind the librarian which books he had checked out. Stocked up on some good titles and even found three free books in the free boxes in the foyer. Gotta stock up for the next ice storm heading our way and arriving tomorrow and into Wednesday.

Then the walk home. Stayed right on the main streets this time, right down the middle, and made it in a half hour. The sky was a brilliant blue and the tops of the trees sparkled with ice that hadn't been blown down. It was a visual gift from Mother Nature, a phenomenon unparalleled by anything I've ever seen. I kept having to stop and look up and around, for the sun shining on that ice was awe inspiring. That could contribute to the longer amount of walking time as well, all the minutes I stood looking up and around with my mouth hanging open.

Made it back safe and sound, no falls and only one slight slip, but deeply moved by the beauty of the ice and deeply awed by the power of nature and the weather.

And the humans think they are in control.

The Big One Arrives

2008-12-21T07:33:00.000-08:00

Well, okay so much for my wishful weather forecast thinking. The BIG ice storm did, in fact, make it here, in fine fashion. Everything covered with an inch of ice. Winter wonderland, but war zone as well.

We went out walking early in the morning after the storm and all around us we saw and heard giant whole trees and giant limbs splitting and breaking and crashing down to the ground. We walked by one stretch of street and right behind us, I mean right behind us, a huge limb came crashing down onto the street, blocking car traffic for sure. The noise was weird and otherworldly. Power out to most of town for about 8 hours, live wires sparking and dancing in the ice.

Every weed, pine needle, fence wire, street sign had icycles hanging from it or was coated in ice. Yesterday the sun came out for a bit and the scene was dazzling!

Was thinking of my friend who owns an apple orchard and hoping the damage was not too great. Another friend, in his 70's, said he could only remember 2 or 3 storms this intense with ice. My folks remembered the big ice storm of the late 60's when we all had to huddle up in front of the fire place for a few days without power. I think that one was accompanied by a blizzard, too.

We spent the day after our walk sawing and dragging the giant limbs that came down, somehow missing the house by inches, into the street. Whew! We, along with most other residents here in this little Indiana town, have giant maple, oak, tulip trees in the yard that just couldn't handle the immense weight added by an inch of ice on their huge branches, more like small trees when you are standing next to one with a hand saw.

Felt a little sore today from our efforts, but there is something invigorating about being out like that, waiting to hear the splitting sound that means run like hell, the trees blowing and crackling with the ice.

Today, 0 degrees with 30+ mph winds, raining ice down like small frozen projectiles, the wind sounding like a train pulling into the station. I was thinking of the indigenous people who lived here, through ice storms, floods, blizzards, cozy in their homes made of logs, sitting by the fire and not worrying about when the power will come back on, or if the pipes will freeze, or getting to the store for a gallon of milk. Telling stories of their people, wrapped in the warm hides of the buffalo, just waiting out the weather and probably grateful for all the fire wood that the breaking trees are offering up.

Waiting for the Big One

2008-12-18T14:35:00.001-08:00

This may be something that is peculiar to the midwest, I'm not sure, but a big ice storm is predicted so organizations, schools, churches, athletic organizations and service clubs, to name a few, begin to cancel their upcoming events that have been scheduled for the next 24 - 48 hours.

Right now, it is clear and sunny, but according to the weather stations, the big one is coming. Right now it is cold, 16 degrees, much too cold for freezing rain, but they have assured us that the temperature will be rising and the ice will be coming. The text feed that goes across the bottom of the TV screen is full of cancellations, winter storm watch postings, and the occasional latest political scum bag drama.

However, the doppler radar shows clear skies clear across our state and the sunset is beautiful.

I'll bet the stores are packed with people getting those gallons of milk, loaves of bread, bottles of water, packages of hot dogs. The real bummer is if the power goes out. And especially if you have no fireplace or woodstove. It's dark and you are cold and you can't even read a book comfortably and obviously, the entertainment choices go way down after dark. Lay in bed and shiver, wait for the sun to come up around 8:30. Makes for a very long night since it gets dark now around 4:45.

So, this is one of those times when I am hoping the weather men are wrong and that all the ice goes somewhere else or fizzles out before it comes here. A nice warm day in the low 40's with sunshine is what I'd like to predict.

Guess we'll see what happens.

Shifting Sands

2008-12-16T12:34:00.000-08:00

I wait with anticipation for the return of my true love.
Alone, I have watched the sky turn orange and pink in a salute to the day.
But this cannot fill the void of my love's absence.

Alone I have walked upon the shifting sands, distracted by the glint of sea washed stones.
The shorebirds hunt for their morsels in a group, yet solitary in their struggle for existence.
They seem to know what they must do.

Alone I sit and watch the egret shuffle in the tide pools for her dinner,
The vast Pacific the backdrop for her efforts.

Alone I sleep and wake and face the day,
Surrounded by people who live their own reality,
Busy in the superficial tasks of their survival.

I watch the sea and think of those who watched the sea for the return of their true love.
The aloneness is becomming familiar yet more abstract
As the time apart has stretched from days to weeks to months.

The big bed is now my own, seeming huge and empty,
Now a place where I flop about and hug my pillow.

When my love returns,
We shall watch the egret together,
And fill the expanse of our bed with our love.

Shake it up Baby

2008-12-16T11:32:00.000-08:00

In the college snack bar where I work, we have one of those free-standing Coke coolers with the clear glass doors so you can easliy find the Coke product of your desire. It has oh, I guess, about 7 shelves with 10 rows on each shelf and each row holds 10 of your favorite Coke products from classic Coke to Rockstar!, an energy drink which contains the caffene of 10 regular caffinated soda drinks.

Yesterday, about 10 minutes into my shift during "meal exchange" - the time when students on the regular meal plan can eat in the snack bar because either 1) they missed the regular meal time due to class or whatever or 2) they don't like what's being served in the regular cafeteria - a student commented that the Coke cooler seemed a little sticky. Yesterday the line was out the door for 2 straight hours. "Just don't look up" was the advice I received when I first started working there. Anyway, I came around the counter to investigate.

Oh my gosh! The wall and ceiling and floor around the cooler as well as the whole entire 6 foot by 3 foot cooler was covered with a nice splash pattern, such as would be created by someone vigorously shaking up a large bottle of Coke and then putting their finger over the hole to increase the explosive impact of the carbonated liquid, carefully aiming to ensure total coverage. Coke was all over the inside of the cooler too, on the front of the bread case, which is a clear glass warmer that displays the different kinds of bread you can choose for your sandwich or pizza, on the wall back behind the counter where we work and clear over by the register.

"What the hell......." I said, mostly under my breath. The cooler door was stuck shut and took two football player types to help me open it. "What happened?" I asked my co-workers, who had been there all day.

They knew nothing and it was time for their shift to end. They left quickly with their heads down. I could hear their shoes making that sound shoes make when walking through something sticky on a tile floor.

About that time the supervisor decided to stop by. She must have had a bad day because she lit into me about the importance of keeping the area clean and looking good and how could I just let this happen and do nothing about it? What could I say? She was right. I just stood there and took it.

My shift ends at 11pm and normally I leave there by 11:30. Last night I got home at 1am feeling like I had left a war zone. Every bottle of drink in that cooler was covered with sticky dried Coke, not to mention the shelves, the things that hold the shelves up, the whirring vent thing, the exhaust slats on the front. I am now intimately aquainted with Coke cooler model XFG4106.

It's a nice big cooler but it has a lit of little parts.

There Is No Peace

2008-12-02T16:20:00.000-08:00

I stopped at the liquor store in the small beach community on my way out of town to the Baja. I’d only been there twice before under similar circumstances.

This is a typical corner liquor store – it has just about anything you might need, maybe even a little hardware. One thing I like about it is that you can pull right up in front and then right back on to the street when you go.

Another thing I like about this particular store, mostly just like so many others in so many ways, is the beautiful eastern European (perhaps Russian?) woman who owns the place and all the times I’ve been there, has been working behind the counter.

American Spirit non –filter cigarettes, which she assured me she is never out of, and bottled water are the items that I bought this time, and all the other times as a matter of fact. This time, as I was standing in front of the many choices of bottled water, actually wondering if one could possibly be any better than the other, remembering a book on labeling that I had just finished that reminded me that fancy doesn’t necessarily mean better, I thought of the days when there was no bottled water. There were just those stainless steel water fountains with the foot pedals that dispensed really cold water, and if you were lucky, the water stream was strong and far away from the place where it came out of the fountain.

As I stood there contemplating the water, a more contemporary thought, or rather question, came into my mind – why don’t the terrorists just put poison in the bottled water? Everyone drinks it; it could have a devastating effect. Just infiltrate the bottling company plant, add the unauthorized additive when no one was looking and voila! I voiced this aloud to the beautiful woman behind the counter – we were the only two people in the store.

The woman seemed shocked and quite taken aback. She vehemently said, “Why would they do such a thing? There are many different people living in America. They would also then be killing innocent bystanders, maybe even some of their own kind!” She spoke passionately, her eyes searching mine, her accent seeming to add ancient struggle to her words.

“Why would they want to kill anybody?” I asked, looking at her beautiful, animated face.

We looked at each other for a few moments and I watched as the expression on her face changed from shocked indignation to realization to resignation.

“There is no peace,” she said softly; she looked so sad.

The tinkling of the doorbells brought us both back out of our reverie. I paid for the water and cigarettes and started for the door.

“Think positive! Think positive!” the beautiful woman cried out as she raised her fist strongly into the air. I smiled at her and said, okay! and walked out into the sunshine.

One Clear Moment

2008-12-02T16:09:00.000-08:00

The built up reality was really

Nothing more than wishful thinking.

When the realization came,

The world seemed so foreign.

Wading through all the emotion,

Knowing that it only serves to muddle the situation,

Moments of clarity begin to come through -

The clear picture is emerging.

One clear moment, a gift of love,

Gives the reminder of the real purpose.

Giving up everything leaves cleanness,

The heart of the matter reveals itself.

Corn on a Nail

2008-11-30T08:48:00.000-08:00

We decided to feed the squirrels and the birds here in our little back yard. I remember, I think, my Dad or was it my father-in-law, pounding a nail in a tree and putting an ear of corn on there for the squirrels, so we hammered a nail into the top of the fence post and stick on ears of corn we pilfered from the nearby fields during harvest time and that my best friend gave me from her private stash. Those precious ears of corn that are now not being used to feed the world but rather being used to create ethanol to fuel our SUV's.

Anyway, we have three types of squirrels here in our neighborhood: Reds, grays, and blacks. When one gets on the corn, another color will chase him off and while he's chasing him off through the tree tops, yet another color will sneak in and get on the corn. Sometimes they somehow get the whole cob off there and take it away somewhere. We have never seen this happen. Even the international students get a kick out of watching the squirrels. The young man from Nigeria, when asked if they had squirrels in Nigeria, said yes, but not really in town because if any squirrels make it into town, they also make it into the soup pot.

We also hung a bird feeder with a real long metal pole from the deck. Chicadees, nuthatches, woodpeckers, sparrows, no cardinals yet, blue jays, starlings, have all made a visit there. The squirrels thought they might want to get in there too, but they couldn't figure out how to get over to the actual feeder, apparantly not liking the long metal pole for getting over there. It's real skinny. We watched them hang from the deck from their hind legs and stretch way out to try to reach it, but they couldn't. They tried and tried, but couldn't get to it.

One day I happened to be at the window getting some coffee and here came one of the little black squirrels. He scampered up the deck and sat on the top rail. He walked back and forth a number of times and then finally made the jump over to the feeder. The whole thing came crashing down, breaking the feeder and surprising the heck out of the squirrel. All the other squirrels must have been watching because there was a mad dash for all the seed that was now spilled all over the ground, the corn on the nail forgotten for the moment. It seemed like they had discussed it and either chosen this squirrel, or perhaps he volunteered, for the bird seed suicide mission.

We were pissed, so we have been starving out the squirrels, leaving a cleaned off corn cob on the nail just to mess with them, which they continue to visit every day. Now it has snowed, and I kind of feel sorry for the squirrels, so I may put out another cob today.

Students for Food

2008-11-25T12:31:00.000-08:00

While at work yesterday, I had the great good fortune to work with a young woman from Nepal and another one from Vietnam.

We were discussing the terrible amount of food that gets discarded by the organization for which we work. Outdated stuff, left over stuff, uneaten stuff. We tried to think of solutions to saving this food and reducing the waste, when so many people go without food - something we all know unless we have been living in a cave since we were born.

The young woman from Vietnam said, in her family and culture, if you waste even one grain of rice on your plate, "It bad!" They both went on to say, that there is very little, if any, food waste in the lives they left to go to college in a small Indiana town.

I said, well maybe you could create some sort of student organization, I know, "Students for Food!"

There was a slight pause, and then they both said, laughing, students for food? ALL students are for food!

We all had a pretty good laugh.

The Eagles are Back

2008-11-25T07:14:00.000-08:00

I recently returned to the land of my birth, a small town along the great Wabash River. Home of the Miami's, friends of Tecumseh, the great Shawnee warrier who relentlessly fought against General William Henry Harrison until he (Harrison) fradulently purchased millions of acres of land, including most of Tecumseh's homeland, from the Iroquois and soundly defeated the Indians in the infamous Battle of Tippicanoe. The Iroquois managed to convince the British that all other Indian tribes were subserviant to them and sold land to the highest bidder without remorse and probably with some degree of smugness. Land they had never seen, land they didn't even know existed until the British came to them and offered to purchase it.

I wonder what they got for payment. Some beads? Some rancid pork? A few blankets laced with smallpox perhaps?

Anyway, this land onced teamed with bald and golden eagles, buffalo, bear, wolves, elk, beaver, the streams and rivers flowed clear and clean with abundant fish, a land that easily sustained the native population with plenty to go around for all.

Recently the bald eagles have returned. When my brother told me this, I immediately wanted to know where they were. He drove me along the Wabash and we saw, roosting along the river in the giant sycamores, bald eagles. We watched them fishing and preening and just sitting there, so beautiful and majestic.

My heart soared and I was actually brought to tears. I thought about Tecumseh and how hard he fought to maintain some semblance of normalcy for his beloved people as he watched, helpless, his land become overrun with outsiders who had no regard for the natural resources nor respect for the people already living there. I felt that he might have felt joy at seeing the eagles return to his old haunts along the mighty Wabash river. I tried to imagine what this land must have looked like covered with ancient hardwood forests and clear, clean rivers. I stood there and gazed into the polluted, brown water of the once great river. I hoped that the eagles could withstand the toxins they were ingesting by eating the fish they were so deftly catching.

I felt remorse for the way my ancesters allowed greed to control them and convinced themselves that the native inhabitants were less than human.

There is still a small population of Miami Indians living in this area. One of my roommates, a childhood friend of mine, is one of those Indians. He has taken me to places that I never knew existed, to land that still belongs to the Miamis, land that has not been cleared for agricultural uses, land that has stands of trees that are hundreds of years old. Land that must look somewhat like it used to in the days of Tecumseh. Land where the bald eagles have again come to nest and call their home.

International Flavor

2008-11-21T06:01:00.000-08:00

At this point in my life, I thought I'd be living in a nice house, having my grandkids over to bake cookies and spoil them, sitting on the couch holding my husband's hand while we watched the news hour.

Instead, I live in a big house close to campus with an old friend and two international students, one from Africa and one from the West Bank.

The African student likes to cook his native food and drives everyone else out of the house with the smell, something between dead billy goat and sour milk with onions. I said, one day before I had experienced the smell, gee! I'd love to taste some of your native food someday So, he prepared this dish and then I just could not get past the smell to taste it. He said he understood.

The young man from the West Bank is like Steve Martin in the Saturday Night Live skit, Those Wild and Crazy Guys. Remember them? It's true, he loves to go after those beautiful American women, leaves his phone on speaker so we can hear the girls turning him down while he shouts into the phone, and loves to party.

Not exactly the image I conjured up when I was a young bride of 23.

Now, a few decades later, I'm just going with the flow and life is an adventure and maybe if I am patient, I can get on in the dish room.

The Dish Room

2008-11-20T17:24:00.000-08:00

Personally, I think the people in the dish room hold all the power. Need those 4 inch pans? The wire whisks? How about those precious plastic food storage containers? If they don't like you, they will shove all the tools you need over to the side and pretend they can't hear you over the noise of the automated dish washers. Maybe they really can't.

I just asked them the first day, what is the correct proceedure for leaving dishes in the dish room? They all happily told me. I always profusely thank them for their very hard work. Sweating, lifting those huge stock pots and heavy skillets, trying to keep up with the meal hours when there are several thousand students piling endless dishes and eating utensils, glasses, coffee cups and discarded paper products into the conveyor that is sheilded by a nice wall so you can't actully see the dishwashers. But they are there, just on the other side of that wall. Yes they are, and if they don't like you, you can just forget it.

The dishwashers in this particular dish room have been in their positions for over 10 years, all of them. One of them, for 20 years! When I first wanted to work there, I wanted to work in the dish room, but they said, well there is a waiting list for the dish room. And, my college degree didn't mean shit.

we found this place

2008-11-20T16:00:00.000-08:00

We found this place not too long ago, an old abandoned limestone quarry, but someone had made a little hang out there by the turquoise water of the deep hole where they dug out the limestone.

The place was solid limestone and we wondered if it would be possible to build a stylely home there and how would you put in your septic and how would you drill for your well?

I refused to believe that it would not be possible, but my hiking partners insisted that there was no way to get through all that limestone to dig your foundation, etc.

Blasting caps, right? Remember when they used to warn the kids about finding blasting caps and if you found one you should immediately turn it over to a grown up? You could get your little fingers or your little hand or your precious eyes blown off if you weren't careful.

Barking dogs with snow

2008-11-20T15:30:00.000-08:00

It is snowing like mad and the dogs are barking, at the snow perhaps or what they think they see in the snow perhaps?

Do the dogs turn their barking on and off at will or is there some sort of mechanism they posess that, when a certain stimulus is received, the barking starts, beyond the control of the dog?

This is probably a question that has already been answered by dog scientists.

well alrighty then

2008-11-20T15:05:00.000-08:00

It is just that easy to set up a blog. How do the people find your blog? Guess that will come to light soon.

I was walking around in the neighborhood the other day and there was this house with a sign that said "Johnny Appleseed Tree Location" on a placard hanging from one of those metal sign posts. I wondered just exactly where the location of the alleged tree might have been. I walked around to the alley and peeked into the back yard, but I saw no historical landmark sign or an old looking stump or anything that might indicate where that tree might have stood.

And I was just left wondering.